The people you surround yourself with have an incredible amount of power in your life. They affect your mood, motivation and ultimate success–even your health. Choosing who you surround yourself with, spend your time interacting with, either in person or online, is one of the most important decisions we may not know we’re making.

It’s human nature to crave a sense of belonging, to feel like we’re a part of something. Does your tribe reflect who you are or support where you want to be?

No Negative Nancys

We all know those people – the ones who’ve posted on Facebook how much they hate Mondays before even eating breakfast, getting themselves, and others off to a real great start.

These folks are likely to share the same sentiments week in and week out and are probably stuck at a job they don’t like, with people who don’t inspire them. In their off time, they probably don’t do much outside their usual routine to stimulate any excitement. They’re stuck in a boring, uneventful loop. There have been times in my life when I’ve been that person stuck in that vortex, attracting even more negative people, which validated my misery.

It’s depressing just talking about it.

In contrast, there’s people we know who are always positive and remain unphased with the arrival of another Monday. They are optimistic and excited and proudly promote new projects or interesting pieces of news that they’ve personally contributed to or that their team is affiliated with. These are the people who fist bump and high five little achievements and big moments and gush about how much they enjoy their job, the people they work with, their life. They don’t complain about days dragging on or the excessive drama at work.

What’s the difference? They’ve found their tribe. Other people who get them. Professionally, they have the same types of goals and personally, share the same or similar interests and values. Together, they grow and become better individuals at the workplace and in their own lives outside of the office. As corny as it sounds, they lift each other up.

Law of Averages

Jim Rohn, one of America’s greatest entrepreneurs and philosophers states: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

In other words, reinforcing how powerful your inner circle is on you. The people you choose to spend your time with have a significant impact on who you become.

Do you work in an office where every employee drags their feet to their desk and keeps their eyes locked on their screen until they get up to pee, eat, or go home? Is your work conversation on gossip repeat?

If your work circle is truly focused on a negative scope it sucks you in like a big black hole. Why not surround yourself with people full of light and positivity? People who accept that some days suck and other days shine. People who have the ability to shift their focus onto what is working rather than what is not.

It’s never too late to walk away (or run, as fast as possible) from the people who bring you down. Break-up with old friends, love your job and stop hating Mondays.

Touch Yourself

The next logical question is: How? How do I find these people? The answer: rediscover your passion.

To get in touch with your people, you need to be in touch with yourself. What moves you? What really gets you going? What feeds your soul?

In an ideal world if you were starting from scratch, what would you want from your job, boss, colleagues and friends? Who DO you want to be around all the time? What are their characteristics? Once you reconnect with yourself and your passions, you’ll have the clarity you need to make these really important choices and find those who will help you reach your goals, champion your success and inspire you to stretch yourself.

Be honest. You will need to get down into your heart and soul. Connect with what gets you really excited, and be wary of what doesn’t. When you figure all this out, you’ll be ready to start introducing yourself to your tribe.

Connect with people you feel drawn to. People whose beliefs and core values resonate with your own. Seek out individuals and existing tribes who influence and ignite your own passions.

Recently, I bought a seat in a coaching group for this exact reason. I wanted to be surrounded by entrepreneurs, with a fire in their belly for their businesses. People who I could bounce ideas of off and learn from. Who would hold me accountable and value that I would do the same for them. Most importantly, the “lead” coach has a business I want to emulate and is someone I admire and who will stretch me to grow and ask questions I haven’t even imagined. It’s stimulating, supportive and can be messy at the same time – my perfect playground!

Don’t be afraid to reach out on LinkedIn, Twitter, or even Facebook. Social media is a modern tool that connects all of us on a global scale and makes it easy to access one another! There’s no harm in making new connections with strangers – they might turn into mentors, your next boss, or even just a great friend.

You’ve outgrown clothes, awful hair styles and numerous pairs of well-loved shoes. It may be time to outgrow some old friendships too if they’re aren’t a good fit for you anymore.

Having a supportive tribe fosters positive change, promotes good vibes and builds confidence in ourselves and our interests. The right tribe acts like your true north, gently guiding you along as you find and live your purpose.

Go find them.


I’m Janice Otremba, a professional speaker, facilitator and coach who specializes in stress management, health and wellness, personal growth and life balance. Let’s build your confidence and excitement for life  with simple, sound advice for beating burnout and powering up your happy. Let’s chat–book a free 15-minute consultation call.

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